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[离任作者] 【性奴美母】(1-8)

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写的相当不错啊,而且情节也很好,没有太过不合理的地方,情节上应该还能有很大的发展空间,但最好保持一个明显的主线情节。另外调教过程如捆绑方式希望能更具体些。还有,即使调教最好也建立在母子关系的基础上,不要太过,要适当的体现出一些尊重。而且女主角最好也不要过于被动,要有些性格和主见(从您文章中看应该还有种外柔内刚的感觉)。以上只是些个人建议,希望您不要介意。
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  • 風月雲 金币 +15 回复认真,鼓励! 2008-10-26 19:08
  • 風月雲 +1 回复认真,鼓励! 2008-10-26 19:08

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